When We Ask Kids to Drop the Phone… Are We There?

By Claudia Novo Castellví, Lady Play at ByBa

We often ask children to turn off the screen.
To play. To talk. To get bored.
We tell them phones distract them, hook them, steal their time.

But while we say this, many times we’re holding our own phone.

Children don’t learn mainly from what we say, but from what they observe.
And what they often see are tired adults scrolling while they speak.
Adults replying to messages during meals.
Adults asking for attention while being distracted themselves.

This isn’t hypocrisy.
It’s learned incoherence.

We live in a world that demands constant availability.
The problem isn’t the phone itself—it’s the space it occupies and the place it leaves for real connection.

When a child clings to a screen, they’re often not seeking technology.
They’re seeking calm, presence, connection.
They’re looking for someone who is truly there.

We don’t need perfect families or screen-free lives.
We need coherent, human families.

Sometimes it’s enough to put the phone down when a child speaks, look them in the eyes, and say:
“Wait, I’m listening now.”
Or even:
“Sometimes I ask you to stop and I can’t. I’m learning.”

That doesn’t weaken adult authority.
It strengthens it.

Educating about phone use doesn’t start by setting limits for children.
It starts by looking at ourselves.

Because what educates most is not the rule, but the example of an adult who chooses— even when it’s hard— to be present.

Below are three simple creative activities designed to reconnect through bonding, listening and play.

Activity 1 · “I See You, I Hear You”

Duration: 5–10 minutes

How to play:
One person speaks for one minute about anything they want.
The other only listens—no interruptions.
Then the listener says:
“What I liked most about what you said was…”
Switch roles.

With younger children, this can be done through drawings or gestures.

What it’s for:
Repairs moments of disconnection and teaches that listening is care, connection and presence.

Objective: Emotional connection.

Activity 2 · “Guess How I Feel”

Duration: 5–10 minutes

How to play:
One person thinks of an emotion.
They express it using only their face or body—no words.
Others guess. Then switch roles.

Objective:
Builds empathy and emotional awareness.

Activity 3 · “The Impossible Interview”

Duration: 10 minutes

How to play:
The child interviews the adult (or the other way around) as if they were:

• a superhero

• an animal

• someone both know

Exaggerated, playful answers are encouraged.

Objective:
Fosters creativity, performance and expression.
Strengthens communication through humor and imagination.

Essential for the Creative Family

Presence is a creative act.
When we choose to be truly there, we give children something deeper than rules:
the confidence to connect, imagine and express themselves.